Sometimes life just offers up one of those moments that you KNOW will make you laugh so hard your sides split open for years to come...however during the time when that faithful even occurs, you are left with varied emotions and none of them make you laugh. I had one of those moments tonight.
My family, like many others, is a typical nuclear-type deal. We are 6 people strong, dysfunctional as any other family, and all strong-willed and stubborn. This last trait can be clearly demonstrated by my daughter, who is ten years old, gorgeous, red-haired, and clever as a fox. If she likes something, it becomes clear immediately and she will completely engross herself in whatever-her-love-is. However, if she doesn't like something....well then, that's when life gets interesting for her poor mother (me) and her stepdad, who is still kinda new at this whole parenting gig.
On this particular occasion, my husband, who loves to cook international foods, had made a nice curry dish with veggies, chicken and a mild green curry. Not anything new to my children, as we've made it before. However, apparently on this night, my 10-year old (we'll call her A for short) didn't approve. So she did the usual maneuvers to try and avoid eating it: shoving it around on her plate, letting it get cold, whining, boo-hooing, and even filling her mouth up then running to the bathroom. We understood she wasn't a fan so we said "take a few (3) bites, and then we'll call it done" and she agreed this was okay.
Now here's where it gets good. Of course she was the last one at the table that night, so while we were all cleaning up, she decided she was going to get creative with disposal of her dinner. Since eyes were averted, she actually took her plate and dumped the curry, rice, and veggies all down her pants into her underwear. Then, after proudly proclaiming "I ate ALL of my dinner" she went to shower. Apparently everything that shouldn't have been in her underpants went down the toliet and her laundry in the pile. Situation resolved in her favor she thinks, all the way through dessert, a movie and bedtime. She must have been so proud of herself!
Well her little scheme may have worked except for one thing: I do the laundry in our house, and I pay pretty close attention to clothes for stains. So as I'm doing a white load, I notice these underpants with this horrible YELLOW stain down the front. I see they are A's and I'm thinking "What the HELL is THAT?!" I'm pretty horrified. I thought maybe she'd gotten a stomach bug and fell short of the loo....but the stain was down the FRONT of her undies. Since I know anything is possible when it comes to A, I figure it's safer if I don't even BOTHER asking what the hell she'd done to her new (no less!!) underwear. I just Oxy-cleaned them and prayed the yellow would come out.
Fast forward now to two or three weeks later where we are once again all at the dinner table. My lovely 8-year old daughter (whom we'll call K - starting to feel like I'm writing a "Men in Black" script here) starts telling us the story of A's clever disposal of her curry. A is horrified, sitting next to me, and you could tell she was just waiting for me to put the smack-down on her. But I was fascinated with what K was telling me. I honestly couldn't stop laughing....and the laughter not only grew but passed on to all of the family who were just rolling by the time K was done. A was in a blush and quietly squeeked "I really didn't like that curry that night", and that was all. Even my husband, who was a career Army officer, couldn't help but laugh. When she went to get up after dinner, we couldn't help but tease and ask her if we needed to do a check to make sure she wasn't shoving dinner down her pants. She was, in the immortal words of Queen Victoria, was NOT amused.
However, through all of this my 15 year old son, J1, had the best comment of them all. "Well it would have eventually ended up near her underpants anyways even if she had eaten it".
Priceless. And truly it's this kinda weird silly stuff that makes me love being a mom!
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